Today I'm a plumber and as you can see
a plumber's a tradesman of highest degree
some days are pleasant and some days are not
'cause some days you're covered in shit and in snot
Some say it's a good life but I'm telling you
it's the lead in the pipes that is turning me blue
the bluer I get the more it is said
it won't be too long before I am dead.............
Well I hate being a plumber there's more I could be
I could be a toff or run away to sea
but since I've no money and I hate getting wet
and I'm not going to prison for being in debt
I've found a way which is much calmer
I will become a baby farmer
but there's not much call for that in these parts
so I'll have to start by robbing from tarts
Now I'm a mutcher that's as far as I've sunk
I spend all my time robbing from drunks
they say I'm all bad and I ain't got a soul
but I'm not going to rot in Victoria's gaol
In our part of the city there isn't much light
the toffs in the west want to keep us from sight
but here in the streets of the east we do thrive
we rob and we steal just to stay alive.
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